With Every Act of Love

I'm writing from home today, as Vivienne's caught her....fourth? fifth? cold this fall...first year at mother's day out.  So we are keeping her away from you lovely people and trying to get it fought off in time for Christmas!      

If you see my facebook page, you probably know by now that our family is With Every Act of Love's family for December!  This will be our final fundraiser to bring Hannah home.  Here's how it works:

With Every Act of Love is hosting 12 days of giving, which is an envelope fundraiser.  144 envelopes, each ranging from $1-$144, you choose your number (amount of donation #33 envelope=$33.00 donation) by commenting below the facebook post or by messaging them & they will send you the information.  If you need a last minute Christmas gift, they can send you a personalized card to give to your loved one as well.  Here is the link you need to learn more!

https://www.facebook.com/actsflove

 

 

 

Because our 12 Days end on Christmas Eve, I want to say this now.  And probably again after this last fundraiser ends!  But I want to get the word out now.  We are amazed at the people in our lives who are doing this with us!  Thank you won't ever be enough.  Your gifts have pressed us deeper into our commitment to walk with other adopting and newly home families, moving forward, which is the nature of loving acts.  I was so unsure and nervous, not having done this before, but knowing we needed to respond "yes" to the overwhelming leading we were in agreement on.  Understanding what I know of Hannah's story up to now, I get it more- why we had to get started when we did, the perfect timing of events, and I also know the Lord is stretching us yet again through the adoption process.  I know this time of year, we are wrapping our hearts around God taking on flesh and coming to live among us.  We're remembering what was done for us, and learning to love more like that.  What a busy time of year it can be as well.  Thank you for your love, your prayers, and your patience!   

 

The Lord has done great things for us; and we are filled with joy. - Ps 126:3

 

LOA Baby!

It came Wednesday!  That hard LOA, the physical approval!  This is a formal letter China sends adoptive parents, asking them to accept the child to be adopted.  So Wednesday, we eagerly signed our named beneath hers and said that she belongs with us forever!  Photos to follow once I am able :-)

Next steps is I800, petitioning US immigration to classify Hannah as our daughter.  This step will take a month, and then everything starts to move even faster!  She will most likely be coming home in late February or early March!  Hurray!

Our Best Gift Came Early This Year....

So, re-reading my last post about feeling so easy-going this adoption is gonna make me laugh out loud.  Because about a week after that, I was in a whole other place...you know the one, adoption mamas! A couple of amazing, compassionate, spirit-led adoptive moms and friends helped me hang in there in November, let me tell you! 

Surprise!

 



You know how I've been reminded throughout two blogs now that God's ways are so very different than man's?  And how good a thing that is, too?  Last Monday our agency received some unexpected files, and sons and daughters were made known at last to their forever families.  The phone rang with that Alabama number- just 10 ordinary digits, but they make my heart leap and my stomach drop (in purely a good way!) every time they pop up.  There was a file.  Our wonderful caseworker, who has now matched us with both our precious children, sent it over, and it was actually very much like knowing Vivienne.  "Oh, there you are; we've been looking for you, precious one."  Really peaceful- no fireworks, just seeing this child and knowing that it was right.  That night we wrote our Letter of Intent, which presents our family and our ability to care for this child and asks the central authority for permission to make that babe our own.  I had a few days where I was physically dizzy over how quickly life had changed!  I am really glad all we were assigned for Thanksgiving this year was the green beans ;-)  It was probably all I could manage at that point!  It was a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving.

The Best Surprise!

 

The need for families for little boys is very real and serious, and we gladly expected to be one of those families.  But God places the lonely in families, and it does not always follow our logic or math...It's about ONE.  Our second surprise that day was that our family's "one" is the sweetest little girl!  It's about time for a picture, isn't it?  Here is our daughter, Hannah!

 

 



We are using her current name for her middle name, and it's important not to publicly disclose specific identifying information about her, but I can tell you that God knows her by name, and in our waiting the last few months He has provided for her in ways I'm not even sure I can share until this is all completed.  Just like He sent a caring nanny for Vivienne, He has provided something beautiful for Hannah.    

And Just One More Surprise!

 

Normally, when you write a letter of intent to adopt a child, you wait a week or often two for provisional approval, or PA, and then you wait 2-3 months for your final approval to be matched with this child, called the letter of acceptance, or LOA.  This letter is a letter issued by the central authority in China, essentially saying your request is definitely approved and seeking your confirmation, via the parents' signatures, that you are adopting this child.  

 

Well...our agency sent our letter of intent to adopt Hannah last Tuesday, and today...you guessed it, PA!  But not just PA...no, the computer system used by China to show the status of our dossier says that we are match reviewed, meaning that our actual, physical LOA should be here in about a week!  This moves our timeline way forward.  Like 2-3 months forward.  If the remaining steps progress on the normal schedule, it will still be chilly weather when we travel next year!  We are coming SOON, baby!

 

Next Steps

 



You know what?  I don't even know exactly what happens next, our timeline just got so bumped up!  I have to review the steps!  This is the part where it gets more complicated to explain the process.  I know the next step must be I-800 (back to US immigration) because we just got the paperwork to prepare for that step once our hard LOA arrives.  There will be a ping pong between those in each country's officials responsible for approving us to travel for adoption purposes, I know that much.  I also know that after LOA, things move fast step to step!  Oh my goodness. 

 

Can I just?  Ahhh!  Oh, there is a busy little list ahead!  I need to pull Vivienne's clothing and see if anything is small enough for this tiny child (or warm enough, since we traveled in summer last time).  I need to pull my packing list...and buy supplies...and re-arrange rooms!  These are things I save to do during the LOA wait to keep busy then.  But the LOA wait is already over! 

 

Prayer requests are now fairly numerous, but I'll try and keep it quick :-) 

-Please lift Hannah up in prayer as often as you think of it- she is pretty tiny, and we are also praying for total healing for her whole body. 

-Pray for those involved in her care, and the special endeavor happening to pour intensive love into her and the children with her.  And for those who see and hear about it- that it would be a blessing to everyone who encounters it. 

-We'd sure also love to ask for prayers for attachment and bonding.  It's a serious business, this breaking of a child's trust over and over, which is just a part of orphanage life even in the best of circumstances.  This is probably among the very least well understood aspects of adoption, and I do want to talk about it, but later, as we approach travel. 

-Please pray for preparation of Vivienne's heart.  She has adjusted so very well since her own homecoming, and she is getting pretty excited (Hannah is "Baby"), but those little wheels in her head are turning, and it's our job to reassure her of her incredibly precious, permanent place. 

-Pray for us to accomplish each day's work from now until we travel, and for travel mercies.

-Pretty earthly, but pray for our adoption fund to grow quickly, because we just (joyfully) lost 2-3 months worth of saving time!  But it is going to be good!!!

 

Okay, another novel from me.  Bless you people for reading!  ;-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

Forever Families Foundation Grant!

We recently got the most amazing, wonderful surprise!  We were given an adoption grant of $1,000 from Forever Families Foundation!  This foundation is a new one, but it is already making such a difference.  This amount meets us half way on our next agency fee installment, or from a different perspective, covers our child's one way ticket home!!  When we heard that we were one of the applicants chosen this fall, it was perfect encouragement at the perfect time.  A burst of "steam" on this marathon.  Such a weary season this fall!  Missing granddad (the joyful, thankful grief believers get to live- it still takes time), crazy bad colds/sinus rotating among the three of us for eight weeks no matter HOW much soap and sanitizer flows, a not-fun adoption bump that is just part of the process sometimes, and finally being right in the midst of our referral wait.  When the letter arrived from Forever Families Foundation, it was like light breaking through!  It is more than the dollar amount, it's the encouragement- that hand pulling you along a few steps.  We are so grateful and we encourage you to check out the work this organization is doing!  Please visit http://www.4everfamiliesfoundation.org/.  No one asked us to say a word, by the way :-).  It is our pleasure to share this!

Speaking of where we are in the process, we are waiting to see our child's photo for the first time.  I have found between both of our adoptions that the two toughest times in the whole process are the wait for referral and the wait for LOA (the last "yes" from China for a specific child's adoption).  These are both emotionally loaded times of suspense, and naturally they would be the two longest waits, with the way our process works.  Because we would be overjoyed to adopt either a little boy or a little girl, and our special needs list is a little wider than last adoption, both we and our caseworker anticipated a swift match, but things can ebb and flow sometimes.  Great example of the way that God's timing is so very "other," apart from ours. 

People say the waiting does not get easier the second time, but really so far- so far!- it is better this time for me, personally.  No mistake, plenty of emotion and yearning right now, but I'm busier and it does help!  Maybe it's different because we were first time parents last time, and there was a certain agony in not knowing whether this stepping out would really "work," regardless of the pull on our hearts or the program's steady reputation.  We trusted God then, but realize for a post-infertility couple, what that often looks like just prior to adoption is believing His goodness and love when things don't work out like we hope they would.  No explanations, no medical or earthly reason we could see.  Just God is good.  Not safe, in an earthly sense anyway.  Good.  Our plan was to adopt much later...like so many other couples, when it was comfortable to do so.  But Vivienne could not wait, and her heavenly Father knew her by name.  We are not interchangeable cogs in this adoption process- our daughter needed her mommy and daddy to hurry up and bring her home, and in His mercy He didn't let us miss out on her.  Vivienne's adoption was certainly not the only, but definitely the most impactful teacher in my life of really wanting His timing and will more than ours.  Lessons in waiting being what they are, I am still very thankful we were propelled with such an overwhelming drive to begin the process earlier than planned this year!

By the way, sorry to have three fundraiser type items on the column to the right- we ended up ordering additional shirts to meet our minimums for the second shirt run.  It was so helpful and fun to be able to do, but it does add one too many items to the blog I feel like :-)  Still, it's my only way of attempting to wrap things up there!  I hope you'll forgive there being too much there for a little while!     

September

There is a lot happening over here, so I am going to sandwich several posts into one long post, follow up to come soon. 

Firstly, and here I am speaking in broad strokes and simply here, because our family decided to let the rest be part of our family story: We said goodbye to my amazing granddad this month.  He passed at home surrounded by family praying and giving God thanks for his life.  We miss him very much, but are grateful knowing he was completely restored and with Jesus just in time for his next wedding anniversary.  We had an amazing summer as a family together that we were not expected to have!  I know it was a special gift that I was able to see one of my children get to know and love my wonderful grandfather.  Precious, precious gift. 
     
Vivienne started mother's day out in September, and it's been going well.  Actually....she did sit- yes sit- on a child on day two, but now we know that in addition to the traditional preschool rules...we also do not sit on our friends!  But overall, so far so good.  She enjoys school and cried last week when she was too sick to go.  It's hard that she has things she wants to say that she can't, that she may try to speak up for herself and not be able to communicate successfully.  Unfortunately that belief that being around other kids helps with speech is not always true.  You'd be surprised how often I hear that...I just want to say "You understand she knows how words sound....this is physical, like muscles, surgery....don't you?"  BUT we have seen a marked increase in her negotiating skills! :-)  If she wants something, she wants "five" of it...and if she isn't sure if she's going to be allowed to have something, she'll ask for "one" or "yiyo" (little)...and then if we decide she can have it, as the item is being delivered.... "four? five?"  "Five ice cream!"  Funny girl.  
 
She is also now tall enough to see over the tops of counters and strategically important shelves in our refrigerator.  This is... hmm....an interesting development for a very independently minded child!  Yesterday she decided to make eggs.  Mind you, she had just been offered eggs and had insisted "no no no"....Child waited until I walked into the living room, then proceed to make herself a plate.  She came into the living room carefully carrying six pretty brown eggs on her kitty cat plate.  Raw of course.  Of course we talked about mama holds the eggs, let's go make some eggs.  I took a couple eggs and started cooking.  But the floor felt wet....and sticky.  And when I went for a rag, I felt it again in front of the refrigerator- oh yes.  Apparently those six eggs were the lucky ones!  Vivi had pulled some eggs out of the fridge, dropped one (or two), and tried to clean them up- she had thrown away the shells and even the yolks.  That clear egg white gave her away!

 Oh, and then there was the day she decided she wanted more chocolate milk (chocolate was purchased because she was one sick baby).  She had been given "one" chocolate milk under our new, Vivi-established quantity language.  Now, it speaks to our concept of size development that she plotted her course in advance, recognizing that one cup would not be enough to contain the remaining milk in the quart jug she intended to drain.  So she got out a second cup (we do open cup drinking at home- SLP mommy).  Then apparently helped herself to the chocolate milk stored at the top of the refrigerator, unscrewed the top, poured the milk to the top of one glass, poured it to the top of the other glass....but there was still milk in the jug.  And we all know the container being poured from must always be emptied.  It's a rule or something.  So...she just kept pouring.  All this of course happened very quickly, during a time when coincidentally (or not) both mama and daddy had our hands full. As she's saying "oh no, oh no," I'm catching milk in a toy tub and Bear is running for the towels, we're sopping it up...and Vivi is firmly scolding the milk for getting away from her like that. 

Yes, we are working on appropriate refrigerator use!  But listen, I see it as surely there are gourmet meals in our future with such a chef in our kitchen...ya think?!   

Let's see, what else...Using about three words and a ton of gestures, she asked me the other night whether the beans we were eating were the same as the beans in her bean bag.  She was pretty concerned about that....

Ah, and lastly!  During Vivienne's adoption we were over half way through the process (matched or just before) when we began telling others we were adopting, and this time we announced it in the very beginning of the process, so we are asked much more often how things are going and "how soon."  Well, our timeline has been pretty textbook, and I am happy to say we are right on schedule.  Nobody worry- God has this!  It may seem longer if you've been following along since the start of this adoption at the end of January/beginning of February this year.  A medical needs adoption from China typically takes maybe 12-15 months start to homecoming, although timeline shift all that time, and we are at 8 months, all is well...moreover, this is God's plan, God's time...as with any child's entrance into a family.  And having witnessed the perfection of His timing in bringing our daughter to us....how can I worry?

Our prayers are as always for our child in China to be receiving love and the medical care needed, for our process to be guided by the Lord, for my sweet girl's speech, and for Bear and I as we make big decisions for our family.  Thank you for following this small blog- we love having you walk with us!              

"Grand Opening!" LoveCrossingOceans on Etsy

Like all big projects, it took more time than projected, but our Etsy shop is officially stocked and open for business!  Please come visit us during our "Grand Opening" week, now through August 31!   

If you would, please share the link below on Facebook.  Your shares during our t-shirt fundraiser really made a difference!  To celebrate the shop's opening, anyone who shares and orders between now and August 31 will be given the option of up-sizing one 5x7 inch print in their order to the 8x10 size, at no additional cost!  *Please be sure you message or email me if you want to take advantage of that offer, so I know to contact you.  Here is that link!  

https://www.etsy.com/shop/LoveCrossingOceans

All prints hosted by this shop are reproduced from original pieces by artist, calligraphy pro, and "MaMere" to Vivi and her little brother or sister-to-be, Carol Lazar.  This is a project first conceptualized during Vivi's adoption and developed over the past year.  These pieces are specifically designated towards our adoption, and are each part of a signed and numbered print series.  We hope you find something that brings you encouragement every day!

There is so much more I want to share about this shop, how it became at times a Bible study between mom and I...how these pieces came to be culled from the many pieces mom poured copious energy, time, and love into....how verses became prayers in our life not only concerning earthly adoption, but our own adoption as Christians and what that means- what it has to mean- for what we are made to do.  Energizing and exhausting all at once!  What a gift we have in my mom, and the technical savvy of my dad, who nailed down the production aspect!

Speaking of gifts, we have had a few amazing gifts made to our adoption savings, privately and through our AdoptTogether account.  While I have been able to thank most of you privately, there was an anonymous gift made earlier this month, and I want to acknowledge it somehow!  So, if you are reading this and you were involved in that, I don't even know what to say.  How do you thank someone for that?  "You helped us reach our child- our child- and bring them home- thank you."  It just doesn't seem like enough.  I have stared at a couple of blank thank you cards this month, trying to formulate a response that reflects the overwhelmed feeling that floods in when someone gives towards this adoption.  It makes me feel like someone grabbed my hand and pulled me along just when my feet were growing tired.  Walking right beside us.  Incredible thankfulness.  Please know whether you gave a large amount or an extra $5 when you purchased a shirt, we are profoundly grateful.  We are also planning a way to honor those precious gifts as we get closer to traveling.

My heart and head have been multiplying thoughts I'd love to share with you, much faster than I can keep up, but I hope to post more soon....For now a small girl has decided my time here is up, and I couldn't agree more :-)  On to play doh!          

August 1 LID!

It's true!  We are LID!  This means the dossier that was sent to China has been received buy the central authority for adoptions there and our dossier has been logged into the system.  Our log in date (or LID) is August 1.  LID marks the beginning of Mega-Step 2 of 3 on that overarching outline, Matching.  That's right, matching!  Our Log In Date, or LID, allows our agency to actively look to match a child with our family!  From now on, movement only happens as a direct result of seeing our son or daughter's face for the first time!  More another day, but I had to get that out there before I was officially a whole week late in sharing the news :-)  Hey, an hour and 45 minutes to spare before it was technically week-old news, huh?