Final days of With Every Act of Love and I-800 received :-)

Our immigration paperwork to classify Hannah as our daughter was officially received at the lockbox and should be in the process of being processed :-) sometimes between now and among and amidst the holidays.  After this step, the two countries start coordinating between themselves to allow us to travel to bring Hannah home!  We get a tighter and tighter time window as each step is completed.

If you have not yet heard about With Every Act of Love, we are their December family!  For the next 4 days only, they are continuing to host an envelope fundraiser for us, to help with that last big set of expenses that are coming months faster than we could have ever imagined.  You can see what it's all about by clicking the picture!  

Envelopes still available are #'s 5, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13,14,15, 16,17, 18,19, 55,74,144.  Meanwhile, we are continuing to work and save, and if we are awarded the Adopt Together grant we've applied for, we will be so close!  God has provided in ways we never saw coming- and you can believe I am writing these stories down for Hannah to keep.  They are uplifting stories, about people who will be part of her childhood, and some she may never meet.  When I know the outcome of the grant for sure, I'll share more, but for now, thank you, thank you for joining us!    

 

Side note, the day after I started getting antsy about it, Vivienne's adoption decree and certificate of citizenship followed her brand new US passport to our home.  One of those is impossible to replace as far as I know, the other is very costly to replace.  And originals were required, so lots of happy dancing this morning!  Back to safety with those documents!  Whew!     

With Every Act of Love

I'm writing from home today, as Vivienne's caught her....fourth? fifth? cold this fall...first year at mother's day out.  So we are keeping her away from you lovely people and trying to get it fought off in time for Christmas!      

If you see my facebook page, you probably know by now that our family is With Every Act of Love's family for December!  This will be our final fundraiser to bring Hannah home.  Here's how it works:

With Every Act of Love is hosting 12 days of giving, which is an envelope fundraiser.  144 envelopes, each ranging from $1-$144, you choose your number (amount of donation #33 envelope=$33.00 donation) by commenting below the facebook post or by messaging them & they will send you the information.  If you need a last minute Christmas gift, they can send you a personalized card to give to your loved one as well.  Here is the link you need to learn more!

https://www.facebook.com/actsflove

 

 

 

Because our 12 Days end on Christmas Eve, I want to say this now.  And probably again after this last fundraiser ends!  But I want to get the word out now.  We are amazed at the people in our lives who are doing this with us!  Thank you won't ever be enough.  Your gifts have pressed us deeper into our commitment to walk with other adopting and newly home families, moving forward, which is the nature of loving acts.  I was so unsure and nervous, not having done this before, but knowing we needed to respond "yes" to the overwhelming leading we were in agreement on.  Understanding what I know of Hannah's story up to now, I get it more- why we had to get started when we did, the perfect timing of events, and I also know the Lord is stretching us yet again through the adoption process.  I know this time of year, we are wrapping our hearts around God taking on flesh and coming to live among us.  We're remembering what was done for us, and learning to love more like that.  What a busy time of year it can be as well.  Thank you for your love, your prayers, and your patience!   

 

The Lord has done great things for us; and we are filled with joy. - Ps 126:3

 

LOA Baby!

It came Wednesday!  That hard LOA, the physical approval!  This is a formal letter China sends adoptive parents, asking them to accept the child to be adopted.  So Wednesday, we eagerly signed our named beneath hers and said that she belongs with us forever!  Photos to follow once I am able :-)

Next steps is I800, petitioning US immigration to classify Hannah as our daughter.  This step will take a month, and then everything starts to move even faster!  She will most likely be coming home in late February or early March!  Hurray!

Our Best Gift Came Early This Year....

So, re-reading my last post about feeling so easy-going this adoption is gonna make me laugh out loud.  Because about a week after that, I was in a whole other place...you know the one, adoption mamas! A couple of amazing, compassionate, spirit-led adoptive moms and friends helped me hang in there in November, let me tell you! 

Surprise!

 



You know how I've been reminded throughout two blogs now that God's ways are so very different than man's?  And how good a thing that is, too?  Last Monday our agency received some unexpected files, and sons and daughters were made known at last to their forever families.  The phone rang with that Alabama number- just 10 ordinary digits, but they make my heart leap and my stomach drop (in purely a good way!) every time they pop up.  There was a file.  Our wonderful caseworker, who has now matched us with both our precious children, sent it over, and it was actually very much like knowing Vivienne.  "Oh, there you are; we've been looking for you, precious one."  Really peaceful- no fireworks, just seeing this child and knowing that it was right.  That night we wrote our Letter of Intent, which presents our family and our ability to care for this child and asks the central authority for permission to make that babe our own.  I had a few days where I was physically dizzy over how quickly life had changed!  I am really glad all we were assigned for Thanksgiving this year was the green beans ;-)  It was probably all I could manage at that point!  It was a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving.

The Best Surprise!

 

The need for families for little boys is very real and serious, and we gladly expected to be one of those families.  But God places the lonely in families, and it does not always follow our logic or math...It's about ONE.  Our second surprise that day was that our family's "one" is the sweetest little girl!  It's about time for a picture, isn't it?  Here is our daughter, Hannah!

 

 



We are using her current name for her middle name, and it's important not to publicly disclose specific identifying information about her, but I can tell you that God knows her by name, and in our waiting the last few months He has provided for her in ways I'm not even sure I can share until this is all completed.  Just like He sent a caring nanny for Vivienne, He has provided something beautiful for Hannah.    

And Just One More Surprise!

 

Normally, when you write a letter of intent to adopt a child, you wait a week or often two for provisional approval, or PA, and then you wait 2-3 months for your final approval to be matched with this child, called the letter of acceptance, or LOA.  This letter is a letter issued by the central authority in China, essentially saying your request is definitely approved and seeking your confirmation, via the parents' signatures, that you are adopting this child.  

 

Well...our agency sent our letter of intent to adopt Hannah last Tuesday, and today...you guessed it, PA!  But not just PA...no, the computer system used by China to show the status of our dossier says that we are match reviewed, meaning that our actual, physical LOA should be here in about a week!  This moves our timeline way forward.  Like 2-3 months forward.  If the remaining steps progress on the normal schedule, it will still be chilly weather when we travel next year!  We are coming SOON, baby!

 

Next Steps

 



You know what?  I don't even know exactly what happens next, our timeline just got so bumped up!  I have to review the steps!  This is the part where it gets more complicated to explain the process.  I know the next step must be I-800 (back to US immigration) because we just got the paperwork to prepare for that step once our hard LOA arrives.  There will be a ping pong between those in each country's officials responsible for approving us to travel for adoption purposes, I know that much.  I also know that after LOA, things move fast step to step!  Oh my goodness. 

 

Can I just?  Ahhh!  Oh, there is a busy little list ahead!  I need to pull Vivienne's clothing and see if anything is small enough for this tiny child (or warm enough, since we traveled in summer last time).  I need to pull my packing list...and buy supplies...and re-arrange rooms!  These are things I save to do during the LOA wait to keep busy then.  But the LOA wait is already over! 

 

Prayer requests are now fairly numerous, but I'll try and keep it quick :-) 

-Please lift Hannah up in prayer as often as you think of it- she is pretty tiny, and we are also praying for total healing for her whole body. 

-Pray for those involved in her care, and the special endeavor happening to pour intensive love into her and the children with her.  And for those who see and hear about it- that it would be a blessing to everyone who encounters it. 

-We'd sure also love to ask for prayers for attachment and bonding.  It's a serious business, this breaking of a child's trust over and over, which is just a part of orphanage life even in the best of circumstances.  This is probably among the very least well understood aspects of adoption, and I do want to talk about it, but later, as we approach travel. 

-Please pray for preparation of Vivienne's heart.  She has adjusted so very well since her own homecoming, and she is getting pretty excited (Hannah is "Baby"), but those little wheels in her head are turning, and it's our job to reassure her of her incredibly precious, permanent place. 

-Pray for us to accomplish each day's work from now until we travel, and for travel mercies.

-Pretty earthly, but pray for our adoption fund to grow quickly, because we just (joyfully) lost 2-3 months worth of saving time!  But it is going to be good!!!

 

Okay, another novel from me.  Bless you people for reading!  ;-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

Forever Families Foundation Grant!

We recently got the most amazing, wonderful surprise!  We were given an adoption grant of $1,000 from Forever Families Foundation!  This foundation is a new one, but it is already making such a difference.  This amount meets us half way on our next agency fee installment, or from a different perspective, covers our child's one way ticket home!!  When we heard that we were one of the applicants chosen this fall, it was perfect encouragement at the perfect time.  A burst of "steam" on this marathon.  Such a weary season this fall!  Missing granddad (the joyful, thankful grief believers get to live- it still takes time), crazy bad colds/sinus rotating among the three of us for eight weeks no matter HOW much soap and sanitizer flows, a not-fun adoption bump that is just part of the process sometimes, and finally being right in the midst of our referral wait.  When the letter arrived from Forever Families Foundation, it was like light breaking through!  It is more than the dollar amount, it's the encouragement- that hand pulling you along a few steps.  We are so grateful and we encourage you to check out the work this organization is doing!  Please visit http://www.4everfamiliesfoundation.org/.  No one asked us to say a word, by the way :-).  It is our pleasure to share this!

Speaking of where we are in the process, we are waiting to see our child's photo for the first time.  I have found between both of our adoptions that the two toughest times in the whole process are the wait for referral and the wait for LOA (the last "yes" from China for a specific child's adoption).  These are both emotionally loaded times of suspense, and naturally they would be the two longest waits, with the way our process works.  Because we would be overjoyed to adopt either a little boy or a little girl, and our special needs list is a little wider than last adoption, both we and our caseworker anticipated a swift match, but things can ebb and flow sometimes.  Great example of the way that God's timing is so very "other," apart from ours. 

People say the waiting does not get easier the second time, but really so far- so far!- it is better this time for me, personally.  No mistake, plenty of emotion and yearning right now, but I'm busier and it does help!  Maybe it's different because we were first time parents last time, and there was a certain agony in not knowing whether this stepping out would really "work," regardless of the pull on our hearts or the program's steady reputation.  We trusted God then, but realize for a post-infertility couple, what that often looks like just prior to adoption is believing His goodness and love when things don't work out like we hope they would.  No explanations, no medical or earthly reason we could see.  Just God is good.  Not safe, in an earthly sense anyway.  Good.  Our plan was to adopt much later...like so many other couples, when it was comfortable to do so.  But Vivienne could not wait, and her heavenly Father knew her by name.  We are not interchangeable cogs in this adoption process- our daughter needed her mommy and daddy to hurry up and bring her home, and in His mercy He didn't let us miss out on her.  Vivienne's adoption was certainly not the only, but definitely the most impactful teacher in my life of really wanting His timing and will more than ours.  Lessons in waiting being what they are, I am still very thankful we were propelled with such an overwhelming drive to begin the process earlier than planned this year!

By the way, sorry to have three fundraiser type items on the column to the right- we ended up ordering additional shirts to meet our minimums for the second shirt run.  It was so helpful and fun to be able to do, but it does add one too many items to the blog I feel like :-)  Still, it's my only way of attempting to wrap things up there!  I hope you'll forgive there being too much there for a little while!     

September

There is a lot happening over here, so I am going to sandwich several posts into one long post, follow up to come soon. 

Firstly, and here I am speaking in broad strokes and simply here, because our family decided to let the rest be part of our family story: We said goodbye to my amazing granddad this month.  He passed at home surrounded by family praying and giving God thanks for his life.  We miss him very much, but are grateful knowing he was completely restored and with Jesus just in time for his next wedding anniversary.  We had an amazing summer as a family together that we were not expected to have!  I know it was a special gift that I was able to see one of my children get to know and love my wonderful grandfather.  Precious, precious gift. 
     
Vivienne started mother's day out in September, and it's been going well.  Actually....she did sit- yes sit- on a child on day two, but now we know that in addition to the traditional preschool rules...we also do not sit on our friends!  But overall, so far so good.  She enjoys school and cried last week when she was too sick to go.  It's hard that she has things she wants to say that she can't, that she may try to speak up for herself and not be able to communicate successfully.  Unfortunately that belief that being around other kids helps with speech is not always true.  You'd be surprised how often I hear that...I just want to say "You understand she knows how words sound....this is physical, like muscles, surgery....don't you?"  BUT we have seen a marked increase in her negotiating skills! :-)  If she wants something, she wants "five" of it...and if she isn't sure if she's going to be allowed to have something, she'll ask for "one" or "yiyo" (little)...and then if we decide she can have it, as the item is being delivered.... "four? five?"  "Five ice cream!"  Funny girl.  
 
She is also now tall enough to see over the tops of counters and strategically important shelves in our refrigerator.  This is... hmm....an interesting development for a very independently minded child!  Yesterday she decided to make eggs.  Mind you, she had just been offered eggs and had insisted "no no no"....Child waited until I walked into the living room, then proceed to make herself a plate.  She came into the living room carefully carrying six pretty brown eggs on her kitty cat plate.  Raw of course.  Of course we talked about mama holds the eggs, let's go make some eggs.  I took a couple eggs and started cooking.  But the floor felt wet....and sticky.  And when I went for a rag, I felt it again in front of the refrigerator- oh yes.  Apparently those six eggs were the lucky ones!  Vivi had pulled some eggs out of the fridge, dropped one (or two), and tried to clean them up- she had thrown away the shells and even the yolks.  That clear egg white gave her away!

 Oh, and then there was the day she decided she wanted more chocolate milk (chocolate was purchased because she was one sick baby).  She had been given "one" chocolate milk under our new, Vivi-established quantity language.  Now, it speaks to our concept of size development that she plotted her course in advance, recognizing that one cup would not be enough to contain the remaining milk in the quart jug she intended to drain.  So she got out a second cup (we do open cup drinking at home- SLP mommy).  Then apparently helped herself to the chocolate milk stored at the top of the refrigerator, unscrewed the top, poured the milk to the top of one glass, poured it to the top of the other glass....but there was still milk in the jug.  And we all know the container being poured from must always be emptied.  It's a rule or something.  So...she just kept pouring.  All this of course happened very quickly, during a time when coincidentally (or not) both mama and daddy had our hands full. As she's saying "oh no, oh no," I'm catching milk in a toy tub and Bear is running for the towels, we're sopping it up...and Vivi is firmly scolding the milk for getting away from her like that. 

Yes, we are working on appropriate refrigerator use!  But listen, I see it as surely there are gourmet meals in our future with such a chef in our kitchen...ya think?!   

Let's see, what else...Using about three words and a ton of gestures, she asked me the other night whether the beans we were eating were the same as the beans in her bean bag.  She was pretty concerned about that....

Ah, and lastly!  During Vivienne's adoption we were over half way through the process (matched or just before) when we began telling others we were adopting, and this time we announced it in the very beginning of the process, so we are asked much more often how things are going and "how soon."  Well, our timeline has been pretty textbook, and I am happy to say we are right on schedule.  Nobody worry- God has this!  It may seem longer if you've been following along since the start of this adoption at the end of January/beginning of February this year.  A medical needs adoption from China typically takes maybe 12-15 months start to homecoming, although timeline shift all that time, and we are at 8 months, all is well...moreover, this is God's plan, God's time...as with any child's entrance into a family.  And having witnessed the perfection of His timing in bringing our daughter to us....how can I worry?

Our prayers are as always for our child in China to be receiving love and the medical care needed, for our process to be guided by the Lord, for my sweet girl's speech, and for Bear and I as we make big decisions for our family.  Thank you for following this small blog- we love having you walk with us!              

"Grand Opening!" LoveCrossingOceans on Etsy

Like all big projects, it took more time than projected, but our Etsy shop is officially stocked and open for business!  Please come visit us during our "Grand Opening" week, now through August 31!   

If you would, please share the link below on Facebook.  Your shares during our t-shirt fundraiser really made a difference!  To celebrate the shop's opening, anyone who shares and orders between now and August 31 will be given the option of up-sizing one 5x7 inch print in their order to the 8x10 size, at no additional cost!  *Please be sure you message or email me if you want to take advantage of that offer, so I know to contact you.  Here is that link!  

https://www.etsy.com/shop/LoveCrossingOceans

All prints hosted by this shop are reproduced from original pieces by artist, calligraphy pro, and "MaMere" to Vivi and her little brother or sister-to-be, Carol Lazar.  This is a project first conceptualized during Vivi's adoption and developed over the past year.  These pieces are specifically designated towards our adoption, and are each part of a signed and numbered print series.  We hope you find something that brings you encouragement every day!

There is so much more I want to share about this shop, how it became at times a Bible study between mom and I...how these pieces came to be culled from the many pieces mom poured copious energy, time, and love into....how verses became prayers in our life not only concerning earthly adoption, but our own adoption as Christians and what that means- what it has to mean- for what we are made to do.  Energizing and exhausting all at once!  What a gift we have in my mom, and the technical savvy of my dad, who nailed down the production aspect!

Speaking of gifts, we have had a few amazing gifts made to our adoption savings, privately and through our AdoptTogether account.  While I have been able to thank most of you privately, there was an anonymous gift made earlier this month, and I want to acknowledge it somehow!  So, if you are reading this and you were involved in that, I don't even know what to say.  How do you thank someone for that?  "You helped us reach our child- our child- and bring them home- thank you."  It just doesn't seem like enough.  I have stared at a couple of blank thank you cards this month, trying to formulate a response that reflects the overwhelmed feeling that floods in when someone gives towards this adoption.  It makes me feel like someone grabbed my hand and pulled me along just when my feet were growing tired.  Walking right beside us.  Incredible thankfulness.  Please know whether you gave a large amount or an extra $5 when you purchased a shirt, we are profoundly grateful.  We are also planning a way to honor those precious gifts as we get closer to traveling.

My heart and head have been multiplying thoughts I'd love to share with you, much faster than I can keep up, but I hope to post more soon....For now a small girl has decided my time here is up, and I couldn't agree more :-)  On to play doh!          

August 1 LID!

It's true!  We are LID!  This means the dossier that was sent to China has been received buy the central authority for adoptions there and our dossier has been logged into the system.  Our log in date (or LID) is August 1.  LID marks the beginning of Mega-Step 2 of 3 on that overarching outline, Matching.  That's right, matching!  Our Log In Date, or LID, allows our agency to actively look to match a child with our family!  From now on, movement only happens as a direct result of seeing our son or daughter's face for the first time!  More another day, but I had to get that out there before I was officially a whole week late in sharing the news :-)  Hey, an hour and 45 minutes to spare before it was technically week-old news, huh?        

DTC!

Just in case you missed the overzealous, hey-look- new-Word-functions announcement I made earlier this evening, it is in fact true.  Our dossier was sent to China Tuesday!  A dossier is basically your huge file of paperwork condensed into 13 basic documents, which have been notarized, certified, and authenticated.  It is what we send to China for processing.  There, it will be translated and reviewed, and we will receive a log in date, hopefully in 2-3 weeks. Your log in date (LID) is what makes you official in the central authority's computer system, and we will be matched with our son or daughter based on that date, the medical needs we have indicated, and the agency's consideration of what is in the best interest of each child.  Basically, it is all out of our hands now, for a good while!  I love this part.  Some people hate it because you are not in control anymore, but I love it.  I love knowing we've done all we can and once we have LID nothing comes next but seeing our child's face! 

Agencies give time estimates for matching, and I could share the current estimates...but you know what the best thing to do with matching estimates is?  Toss 'em!  They are based on too many variables...how fast files are coming to your agency, how those files coordinate with your age range and the special needs you are open to, how many families have LID's  close to yours....it's just too much to say.  We are hopeful for everything to work out to be able to travel to bring this precious one home next year, hopefully early next year! 

Summer Update

A big thank you to everyone who took part in our summer fundraiser!  We had a last minute flood and are placing an order for a grand total of 154 shirts!  We are SO excited to get these printed and shipped out to you!  And so ready to see who is going to fill one of those toddler shirts, especially ;-)  We heard so many wonderful stories.  One family is traveling to Hawaii very soon to adopt their son- it was so neat how their destination and our theme flowed!  A friend told me the jade shirt's colors happened to be her sorority colors- who knew?!  Several times people shared that the Isaiah verse also worked it's way into their hearts as they pursued sons and daughters in far away places, or traveled for mission.  A couple people have a passion for sea turtles- kinda fun!  If you ordered, I will be communicating when your shirt ships- not long now!

Here is our summer progress on the financial side!
Total paid towards the process: $12,707.25
Balance remaining: $22,068.75
(If you read this previously and notice the values have changed, I apologize- I am seriously looking forward to breaking past the next milestone in this process I guess!)

We have now officially paid all expenses up until the time we are matched!  And, we are fully prepared to write the checks which will be due at the time of matching.  More on that momentarily, but first a little adoption update!

Currently our dossier is waiting for the courier in Houston to return from a well deserved vacation.  Next week, she will bring our dossier to the Chinese consulate for authentication, which is the final step in the sealing process from my last post.  A courier is necessary because our dossier must be hand-delivered to the consulate, and couriers are also experienced enough to know the ropes of the consulate well.  Once the authenticated dossier is returned to our agency, the agency will do a detailed review of it one last time.  Everyone wants to makes sure this paper representation of us and our life is presented exactly right, because after this the dossier goes to China!

This next step is known as being DTC (Dossier to China) in adoption circles.  It means any shred of control you thought you had in the process is officially over!  That bothers some people, but personally I think it is one of the best parts of the process!  Ahhhh, we will have done all we can for a while.  The central authority in China will log us into their system, and that log-in date (LID) is the date our official wait for a match begins.  So be watching the blog for LID news this summer, possibly next month!  Every step from that point forward happens as a direct result of seeing our child's face for the first time- pretty crazy wonderful, huh?!

I800A Approval and Next Steps

Our I800A approval arrived last Saturday!  This approval is our permission from US immigration to adopt a child from China.  Our agency can now prepare our dossier to it's trip across the ocean.  You will soon see why it is such a huge deal to us that dossier preparation services are part of our agency's standard services.  This last step in the US side of this process (for a good long while at least) is loosely referred to as authentications.  I saw the process explained years ago on a blog that appears to be shut down, and I can't do nearly as clear a job as the blogger I was hoping to reference, but I will try to paraphrase for now.  Ready?  Good!

So, your whole life is laid open on 13 precious documents, condensed from (in my case) the rolling file cabinet of paperwork it took to acquire those documents.  But how do the central adoption authorities know from all the way across the world that everything is in order?  Those documents need to be notarized, so everyone knows that you are the one who prepared them.  But how do we prove that the notary is really who he says he is?  Well, the county or parish must seal the documents.  But how do we prove that the county authority is who they say they are?  The state must seal the documents.  But wait!  How we prove that the state authority is who THEY say they are?  The documents must be authenticated by the designated Chinese consulate.  In our case, the that would be Houston.  This way, the central adoption authorities in China know that we are the Norris family and we meet all the standards set forth for adoptive parents.  Whew!

Adoption can be divided into 3 mega-steps, 1.  The Paperchase, 2.  Matching, and 3. "Come On Already Let's Get This Child HOME!"  The Paperchase includes the home study, I800A, and authentications.  After authentications, mega-step 1 is done, which means our agency can send our dossier to China (DTC), and we can receive a log-in date in the system.  This log-in date (LID) is important in the matching process, so I'd call it the beginning of mega-step 2.  Currently matching in the medical needs program is taking about 1-6 months from LID.        

That much closer to knowing the little one we are coming for!  If you're praying with us, our requests are for smooth authentications, and for some relief from repairs and replacement needs on the home front.  We've had quite the month!  We're praying for my sweet girl's speech, as we do need to hit some big milestones this year.  And finally, we are praying for this child waiting somewhere in China right now.  We don't know anything else yet, but we know for a fact that this child- our own son or daughter- has already experienced the loss of his or her biological parents.  Whatever people may say, early scarring is stored in a different way- like anything in your own life, it can be healed, not undone.  It makes my heart ache.  It makes me want to run there right now.  We are praying that this child is receiving nourishment, medical care, and love.  That his or her heart is being prepared for adoption and learning how to trust again after some very big separations and trust breaches during those early months, which are critical to learning attachment.  We had a very good scenario with Vivienne's adoption, and we know that.  We're praying for our whole family, here and overseas, to be protected and to be woven together, and we are thankful to have been able to reach this step in the adoption process!

Cleft clinic trip recap...(and lots of photos!)

A long detour from this blog's adoption focus this evening...grab a glass of wine!  So often I say we're at clinic, or we are about to go to clinic, or we just got back from clinic...and I realized I often fail to communicate why that matters.  The cleft clinic we chose for Vivienne is about 7 hours away.  Vivienne experiences a lot of anxiety while we're traveling up because to her a drive this long can only mean doctors, and it's an exhausting, LONG day of specialists.  Surgeon, audiologist, speech pathologist, ENT, geneticist...we have a local peds dentist and the orthodontist comes later.  It's actually pretty fantastic to see a true team of several specialists in action, for your child, and if I were to try and see them all in individual appointments...I'd live in waiting rooms.  But I do have to psych myself up for this!  We try to add in fun, but she's never quite herself, and she can be extra busy and a little emotional.  There is no doubt that these trips are stressful and jam-packed, and it's all information about your child.  So there's some "processing fatigue."  And we go a day in advance so I can get in-depth mentoring from the team SLP.  That being said, I am happy to say that this trip was really the best one we've had!

This trip, Bear came with us, which meant a week off work, starting with being fingerprinted in New Orleans on Monday for the current adoption process and extending to Thursday when we drove home from Birmingham.  A week off work is a big big deal when you are self employed, but we felt that it was important to do one trip together to allow him to meet the various specialists and experience a routine trip.  Bear never really gets to be off, but he was pretty out of pocket ;-)  It was so nice to go together as a family, even for the purpose!  

We drove to New Orleans Monday morning for our final fingerprinting of the current adoption process.  This allows immigration to finish processing our application to adopt from China, which in turn will lead to our dossier documents being authenticated and then mailed overseas over the next couple months.  We took Vivi to the New Orleans zoo right afterwards to blow off some steam.  We had a wonderful time and it helped after keeping Vivi quiet and confined in a government office all morning!

She LOVED this "baby elephant"

Tuesday we drove to Birmingham, and Wednesday morning we visited our placing agency, Lifeline Children's Services, which is based in Birmingham.  We said hello there, and then on the way back we found this beautiful botanical garden and pulled over to spend some time there (Birmingham friends, Aldrich Botanical Gardens is free of charge!).  Wednesday afternoon we had our speech therapy appointment, and we ended the day with playtime and friends at dinner!

And this would be when Vivi decided she wanted to pet the goslings...and see how the path goes right between them and their mama? Oh yes.  Hissing goose, lesson learned, poor baby!

She was all about the rabbit!  There are a few photos of this guy because we spent a "little" time here ;-)

Thursday morning, we had breakfast with more friends (we really got to see so many wonderful people that we don't usually get to see!), and headed to our clinic day.  After clinic, we were able to finally meet a special someone in person!  Logan has been our caseworker with Lifeline for both adoptions, which means she is the one who matched us with Vivienne!  We got back home late Thursday night.

Our new digs at the hospital- I'm liking the rooms!

Before I share about our clinic trip last week, I want to give some backstory.  Makes for a long log post, but I don't get that many chances to write ;-)  So:

Many people we know think, cleft palate, just close the opening, one surgery, done.  If you've ever told me how nice it must be to be all done, and I laughed a little hysterically...please forgive me.  I am totally wishing you were right!  A cleft is not really a separation in tissue, but an absence of tissue, where two approaching sides are interrupted before fusing together at midline.  Treatment involves a series of surgeries spread over childhood to create a complete and well-functioning lip, hard palate, soft palate, gumline, and dentition.  The most skilled, gifted surgeon cannot replicate God's design.  But what can be done is amazing!  Vivienne had her lip repair in China.  Her hard and soft palate repairs were done last fall, and PE tubes were placed in her ears at that time.  We know her future holds a bone graft for her gumline, orthodonture, and possibly cosmetic surgery later if her scar tissue causes any pulling.  There is also the possibility she may need fat injections or a secondary palate surgery to help with speech.  Speech therapy throughout.  Which is all pretty normal and routine :-)  

In recent visits, the team therapist confirmed my feeling that Vivienne seems to understand what to do with her newly repaired soft palate, but has difficulty physically making enough of a seal when she tries to close off her nasal airway (which is what directs air out through your mouth for speech).  There are several potential reasons for that and it's not uncommon, but it matters because it affects every single speech sound except m, n, and ng.  There are a few options to address it, but first Vivi would first need to be able to tolerate non-sedated endoscopy.  She has to allow them to place a tube with a camera through her nose and down her throat, and then calm down enough to give her best effort at speaking in a way that really shows how her soft palate and pharynx are working.  It is very important that when we look at the results, we feel confident we are witnessing the best job her muscles can do.  The results of this scope are a big part of what guides surgical decisions, so we wouldn't want her too panicked or not understanding the task.  Usually, the team is able to get valid test results at around 4 years old, with variation for individual children.  But in her truly extensive experience, last fall our team therapist felt that we should be emotionally prepared for the need for secondary surgery in preschool to help Vivienne's speech.  

The word from last week:

This trip, both Vivienne's speech pathologist and later her surgeon expressed surprise at how far she has come, and now they just aren't sure whether she will need surgery or not!  The word "incredible" might have been used :-)  So now, because Vivi's made more progress than would typically be expected for her starting point post op, we're all just going to have to wait and work and see what she does!   We don't know what Vivi's future holds.  But!  Every bit of progress we make now increases the benefit any future procedure would give us, and could reduce her chances of needing these procedures at all.  And every time she learns the placement for a speech sound, or increases the amount of air pressure she can build up in her mouth, that is that much less work she will need to do after a surgery, should she have one.  Vivi's been amazing.  She wants it, works so hard, and she doesn't give up!

This is a big prayer request.  Of course we want the preK surgery to be unnecessary.  We want her speech to just flourish and develop even more.  After all, surgery involves cutting and suturing muscles and nerves, and with this surgery comes some risk of sleep apnea.  But above that, we definitely are praying for wisdom in the critical determinations the team will make in the next year or so.  Would you pray with us about all that?

If you have made it all the way to the end of this blog post...wow...thanks!        

 

Love Crosses Oceans

Our shirt design is ready, and I love it!  I hope you do, too :-)  Love, love my oceans and can't wait to see my children playing together at the beach one of these days, and it just came together so easily with this verse that seems to follow us through both adoptions.  Without further ado, here they are!

The shirts come in Adult, Youth, and (yes!) Toddler sizes, and you have a choice of Jade or Charcoal colors.

If you order a jade toddler shirt, keep in mind the shirt color is a little lighter due to availability in that size bracket.  Here is the toddler jade version:

Adult shirts: $18 each or $20 shipped

Children's sizes: $15 each or $17 shipped

We will place one large order later this summer and deliver/ mail the shirts to you.  Because we are using a local company, we anticipate a good turnaround time once the shirts are printed!

Now for the fun part!  

To order, comment on this post or email me at elizabeth@norrisfamilyins.com!  

One Year!

Vivienne has officially been with us a year!  It's been only a year since God blew us away with His grace, when a little girl just barely 24 months old walked into a hot, red room holding her caregiver's hand.

It's such a sensory memory, the heat of the room, the red paint, how solid and warm she felt in my arms, her scent, her damp hair, and those sweet little hands.  Yes, she was afraid on this day we celebrate- how on earth could anyone prepare a child to start their day like any other morning, and drive literally down a mountain side and into this city of about 8 million people, with the clothes she wore, a starter kit of the formula she was used to, and a little bag with our care package items inside?  How do you explain that everything is going to be okay, even GOOD?

Time.  A week, 2 weeks, a month, 3 months, 6 months...12 months.  "You can trust me."  "I love you."  "Mama helps you/ Daddy can do it."  Over and over and over.  We celebrate gotcha day!  It was the beginning of us together!  We "got" each other, all of us.  We became mama, daddy, and daughter that day.  She fell asleep in my arms before she finished her bottle that first night, which as the time was amazing (even if her utter exhaustion might have contributed!).  We waited 15 official months and prayed for her before we knew her face.  We set up the nursery and nested like crazy.  Thousands of miles and dollars and tears, sleepless nights, and joyful anticipation went ahead of that day.  Even going through the adoption process again now, and although  I'm quick to look again to the barriers we still have to climb, I have this constant reminder playing at my side (okay, on me lol!) that not only was she "worth the wait," she's worth it all and more, over and over again.

This girl is fun, adventurous, generous, compassionate, smart, and sweet!  She loves with her whole heart, and I am so excited to see her grow into the person God made her to be. 

We are blessed beyond measure to call her our daughter.

For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted my petition that I made to him.

1 Samuel 1:27

I800a Time!

Our home study has been finalized!  Our agency submitted our application to adopt a child from China to U.S. immigration, and in the last two weeks we've received both our receipt and fingerprint appointment.  Yes, more fingerprints!  This time we get biometrically fingerprinted at the immigration office in New Orleans.  Anyone else ever wonder why all fingerprints would not be considered "bio metric?"  Am I being too literal?  :-)  Although the state and federal levels have run our prints, immigration also needs prints as part of approving us to adopt internationally.  This entire approval process seems to be taking 30-45 days total lately, which is faster than two years ago!  Once we have approval from immigration, we can send all our dossier documents through the certification and authentication process, preparing the entire packet for it's trip across the ocean.

Time to celebrate this milestone and welcome summertime!

• It's finally adoption shirt time, and I am so, so excited about these!  Be looking for a new post soon with design photos and purchasing into! 

• And until then, a friend is throwing a Jamberry nail party on Facebook, benefiting our adoption.  If you haven't been added and want to start off the summer with super cute nail wraps, let me know!  Here is the link if you just want to shop: 

http://tonyasmith.jamberrynails.net/party/?uid=3a3ce681-4cee-43f7-b24c-e482398fd2c6

Finally, I am also very excited to announce that we were approved by Adopt Together!  This allows for tax-deductible donations to be designated to our adoption through the Adopt Together button on the right column of this blog.  If you look at the tabs on the Adopt Together website, you can learn more about how this works.  While we hope to offer fun opportunities to help, we personally have had times when we preferred to give a small amount to a family's adoption rather than make a purchase.  There's absolutely no expectation, only our sincere appreciation if we even make it on anybody's "to think about" list.

If you are following our progress,

Adoption costs covered to date: $6,805.75
Next milestone in costs: $3,857.75

And just because she says it so well, I have to include a link to an article written by one of the women who encouraged me to look deeper at our desire to adopt a couple years ago:

http://showhope.org/guest-post-stefanie/    

April showers after all!

Thank you for being so patient while we "recovered" after the yard sale!  Made possible by many of you (thank you over and over!), the sale was great!  Together with savings, we were able to cover our upcoming dossier preparation costs, which is really wonderful...because we recently received news that it is indeed time to get our dossier together!  More on that in a separate post in the next day or two.

      

While the original plan was to do a Friday/Saturday event, for logistical reasons we had to let that balloon fly away.  We decided to try Saturday/Sunday, with a late start Sunday so we weren't yard selling in place of church...optimistic, but it's what we came up with in a pinch!  Saturday morning started out so...mmm, quiet.  Our ads and signs were all there...The weather was gorgeous...The neighborhood sale this coincided with is always so big that finding parking can be a challenge.  Not so much this year!  I have theories, but I doubt we ever will know why- It was just plain slow.  Steady though!  From 7:00am until late afternoon, we had people here.

It's okay if I don't see another moving box for a few years.

Sunday- ah Sunday- well, we knew it could be tough.  But until just before the sale, rain was not in the forecast.  Certainly not the storm that blew through.  It was just one of those mornings.  First of all, we were dressed and ready for an 8am service (um, it's a 7am service).  Then, we heard the rain- and wind- blow in.  We ran outside to secure plastic coverings that had broken free, items under the carport were literally flying off tables...Vivienne, meanwhile, is joyfully exclaiming "Rain, Mama!" and trying to play in the downpour...Anyway :-)  The rain was supposed to end at 10am, coincidentally our published starting time- hopeful, right?  Not so much.  When it finally did stop for good, the wind made itself at home for the remainder of the day.  Rick Warren (Saddleback apparently broadcasts live) chose this morning to discuss God's timing and His provision :-)  It was an interesting morning...and afternoon, and we spent the day in single digits for visitors.

Just hanging out mom.

See?  We tried to prepare!

I really don't know how it happened, except that every dollar adds up, but by Sunday afternoon we were ready to send a check to immigration and send our dossier through the authentication process.  Not only that, but we learned that an adoptive family at our church organizes a big garage sale here in town every year.  When I say big, I mean they keep a warehouse big.  They collect all year, and the proceeds go to provide for children living in an orphanage in China.  SO all those items you donated, sold at our own sale or not, seem destined to bless!               

Balloons- entertainment AND a toddler tracking device!  Who knew?

Relaxing with Aunt Rachel after the sale

Okay, so this one is from the day before set-up day!  I thought we could use some special time before all the commotion.  Little did I know this child would be totally into the event!!!

       

April (hold the showers please!)

Here we go!  This crazy huge yard sale is right around the corner.  This weekend, Greenbriar Hollow will be packed as our neighborhood hosts its annual event.  We begin early Saturday morning, and are hoping for big crowds and beautiful weather!  This weekend.  Gasp.  We are excited, nervous, you name it!  We are also incredibly thankful.  20+ donations, and (get this) no less than 6 family members and friends offering their time early on a Saturday morning to tackle a yard sale out of love and a passion for adoption!  Not to mention those lending us much-needed tables, offering pricing advice, praying, encouraging me in weak moments...I'll be saying this a lot, but thank you.  Oh, the dozens of hours of sorting, labeling, boxing, and arranging  in a toddler-resistant manner ;-)  Thankfully, as long as the items are boxed, a little someone could care less about them...hence the boxes!  Pray for us this weekend?  

So, on to the adoption this yard sale is supporting!  We just heard that our home study is ready to be finalized and notarized, at which point we begin our application to US immigration to adopt a child from China.  Here's hoping this component continues at it's current nice little pace!  

Because this part of the process, the "paperchase" as it's known in adoption circles, is a pretty dry reading, I thought- a little family fun news.  This month, Miss V celebrated Easter for the first time in her life, as we approach her 3rd birthday and her 1st adoption day anniversary.  What a special way to celebrate as our year of so very many "firsts" for her comes to a close!  Our pastor refers to celebrating Easter as stepping into the stream of joy that has been flowing for 2,000 years...He told us Sunday morning that the celebration began hours ago around the world, and it was our turn now.  So awesomely true, and we get to celebrate openly!  Speaking of joy, this month we did a lot of finger painting, and well, we kind of love what happened!  Incidentally, this sweet look is all for her daddy standing to the side.  Her daddy forever and ever 11 months ago.

Something a lot of people do for Easter is "Forget the Frock," where families buy a set of shirts to support a cause instead of traditional Easter wear.  We forgot the frock with twist I guess :-)  This spring we decided to buy adoption shirts in place of any t-shirt or summer shirt that needed replacing.  Kind of neat, it supports the family adopting, and it supports adoption all year long.  And, bonus, as children come come into their families forever, it is SO fun to wear a shirt and remember them.  I have my "Lucy" shirt, my "Alex" shirt, my "Brighton" shirt...so much more fun that my "pink" or my "aqua" shirt!  We wore clothes we already had, in little bit's case, a dress I had set aside for her 3 years ago...before we knew her little face.  I'm so excited that on her first Easter, she just so happened to be a perfect fit for it!  The bracelet was her baptism gift from us, the pearls from China.  Sometimes a girl needs to feel special, and it was a mama thrill to see that she really did feel extra special that day!

Some other April adventures while we waited on paperwork:  

First pony ride

First strawberry patch

 

















(Yes, her bangs are super long...we are deciding to "grow" or "cut" and she opted out of a bow at the strawberry farm- oh well!)

What else?  Oh!  Daddy became Baba when Vivienne is extra happy or wanting him to stay (instead of going to work).  We had originally planned to be Mama and Baba to our sweet girl.  But with her cleft palate affecting speech, so that consonant sounds were all /m/ and /n/, Baba sounded just like Mama.  To avoid frustration, Bear became Daddy.  Now, out of the blue this week, if Miss V is calling for her Baba every once in a while.  So sweet- I think someone's heart melts every time, regardless of whether he ends up being Baba, Daddy, or Dad!

Hey, and if you ever stress about the concept of a home study...I won't lie that I don't clean the house top to bottom...Although my standards for "clean" are a lot more relaxed since becoming a mommy ;-)...But.  if we can host our social worker with pizza and a house full of yard sale, I think most of you out there are good, ya know?  ;-)

Greetings from the box fort!

Well, hello!  Emerging from under the boxes to say thank you so much, and please keep it coming!  Over 35 full boxes have been sorted and tagged, in addition to a lot of larger free-standing items.  So grateful to veteran yard sale friends for letting me text photos asking "How 'bout this one?"- repeatedly, and for sharing their hard-earned lessons with us!  In this photo, I just finished a sort, but this pile has grown substantially in the week plus since it was taken, and it is time to do another big sort:

We are still collecting unwanted items over the next several weeks!  We are happy to come by to pick items up, and there are still plenty of boxes to spare- we can drop empty ones off for you to use and pick them up when you are ready for us.  And...I think we will need a few more tables, so if you have folding tables or card tables you are willing to lend us for the yard sale April 26, please let us know!    

Now about the process this yard sale is helping to fund!  We are in that stage where unless you're adopting too, an explanation of where we are pretty much doubles as a cure for insomnia- it's cool, I understand ;-)  We are waiting on revisions for two pieces of paperwork to arrive before our social worker can write our home study.  Once the home study is written, we move onto US immigration approval to do this adoption, and then the 13 documents that comprise a dossier to China go through three tiers of certification and authentication.  That will wrap up the first of the three big sections of the adoption- getting our dossier to China (DTC).  

While we wait this part of the process out, I'm savoring the time I have with our sweet girl.  Not only because I know our time as just the three of us is finite, but because she is just growing so fast!  I'm enjoying watching the little girl she's becoming, but I sure wish we could do this in slow-mo!  She was such a baby when we met her, and now she's such a little girl now!  Amazing.

Yard Sale and Updates!

Last week, we began collecting items for our big yard sale April 26!  Do you have unwanted items?  We'd love them!  I will even bring a box to your door and pick that box up for you when it's ready!  Please let me know if you have items or think you may in the future at elizabeth@norrisfamilyins.com.  Thank you so much for your help!

We just completed the final visit for our home study!  If you've ever done one of these, you know what that means- ahhh :-)  Social workers will encourage you not to stress over cleaning for these visits, but really...someone is coming in your home for the purpose of determining whether your home and family are prepared to welcome another child.  You're gonna clean.  We had a very pleasant experience with this home study, and so far everything is chugging along right on schedule.

What happens next?  Well, we are waiting on two more sets of paperwork to complete the infamous "paper chasing," and then we wait for the report to go through review- hopefully about a month longer for that.  Having the completed home study will allow us to apply to US immigration to adopt a child from China, and begin to pull together our dossier (the set of papers which are sealed and apostilled and made all kinds of official and then sent to China!).  

How long will it be?  The process takes about 12-18 months normally.  We just finished month one, so we have a ways to go.  I am feeling pretty relaxed about everything...maybe it's how early on we are and how quickly it is going right now, or perhaps is just having been through the process coupled with the busy-ness of our family since the last time.  Having been stretched once through adoption, we're also aware- in ways we could only imagine before- how perfectly God weaves families and children together, and His sovereignty above everything else that hits you.  That is a gem to hold in your hands!

Looking ahead, our other larger scale endeavor during the adoption process will (hopefully!) be a fun event this fall, and we are already working to make it special!  If you know a place that might be willing to let us come host a family-friendly event with music, food, a silent auction, and a fun activity or two for children, would you connect us?

We have a handful of smaller ways to help that I am getting so excited about, and I cannot wait to tell you all about them during this year!

I am so happy you are following us on this journey.  I know it's really different from last time we adopted, where everything was only 4 months from completion before we really told everyone, but I have to say it is very fun for me to be sharing these early steps with you!        
  

Jump Start

January was a flood of little and big arrows toward adopting again.  This past year, when we discussed adopting again, we were only hoping to begin paperwork for the process again in May.  Ha!  Don't get me wrong- we have obviously filled out the necessary forms and have been active participants here, but the momentum has not been our own.  Everything we set out to do has gone so quickly and slipped right into place.  I do not know who this little one is yet, but the beginning of this story is making me very curious!

Some of the ways we were called back to adopting I'll hold tight to between the two of us, but I'll tell you about the ladybug!  He lived in our hotel room for the entire trip to Birmingham.  Ladybugs in China adoption, if you don't know, are supposed to precede the completion of another step in the process.  Vivienne would spot him in a heartbeat upon coming "home" for the day.  I know- that's pretty fluffy; after all, ladybugs surely needed to keep warm in 20 degree weather too!  And I never saw a single ladybug during our adoption of Vivienne :-)  But every once in a while something light-hearted comes, and you know why you're getting to experience it.  That silly ladybug was that for me.  I started praying more about adopting again, if we should, when we should.  I thought at the time that Bear was much, much further away from any decisions.  Ha again!

When we got settled back at home again, Bear showed me some savings he had set up for adopting, and asked me what we needed to do to begin the process again.  I was so surprised, and was feeling such a matching pull to go back that it had a halting effect on me!  Normally, where Bear and I agree, we can be fairly comfortable that we're steering straight.  This time the flow towards this hope was feeling so smooth that I hesitated, wanting to know that we were walking down paths God was lighting.  Don't get me wrong- I know God is for adoption, for setting the lonely in families, for the voiceless.  Adoption, grafting, is the means by which we become His children, and the way that He tells us about our salvation.  Someone at some point (I'm sorry I can't remember and credit you!) told me their husband asked her "If Jesus were sitting here with us, is it more likely He would tell you to adopt one of His children or not?"  The answer seems obvious.  But it is really, really important with adoption to get your yes locked in securely. Storms happen- big storms!  The most important thing I can think of to do at the cusp of starting an adoption process is to take enough time with God to get that yes sewn into your heart for the long journey.

Only a couple weeks, or just over, passed before we realized if we DID want to think about adopting again this year, we needed to either register to re-take an expensive course required by our original home study agency, or look into the possibility of changing home study agencies.  A phone call later, we learned we would be able to transition to a new home study agency and the caseworker had a spot come open for that Friday!  During the same week, we noticed that by bumping our timeline forward this way, we would be avoiding increases in some of the costs of the adoption process.  The beginning of February has been much the same.  Everything is just moving speedily and on-course!  I recently told a friend that the way this process is going, I have to just be glad God is sovereign and hang on!  

(Can't help myself- I need to mention here that I'm seriously not for reading tea leaves.  I do not like discussing God's will for us in terms of open doors and closed doors.  We are not called to "easy."  Easy doesn't always serve or point to God.  It doesn't have to be hard either- but I try not to over-interpret things which are very hard or very easy.  That things seem to be falling into place...we are just going to be thankful as long as it lasts!)

Progress in January and early February:

• Accepted by our wonderful placing agency again $2,088.75 down on our total!  Whohoo!
• Began home study $2,000 knocked down!
• Paper chasing for the home study: FBI clearances, state clearances, medical exams/reports, updated training.... $277 down in costs for that so far.

• Elizabeth added work hours!
• We began the Great Garage Sale Project!  Please let us know if you have items for the garage sale, or display tables to lend!  

• January balance: $34,776
• February balance forward: $30,400.25